If you’re someone who overthinks everything, feels stuck in your head, or struggles to let go of control, this is for you.
Anxiety can be exhausting, especially when it shows up as an endless loop of “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios. You’re not broken for feeling this way. There is often a deeper need underneath it all. Let’s talk about it.
Anxiety can feel like a loud, messy thought spiral. You try to think your way through it, fix it, understand it, analyze it from every angle. You tell yourself, “If I just figure this out, I’ll feel better.”
But what if all this overthinking is about the need to feel in control?
When you’re anxious, your mind – as a way of protecting you – often tries to control your experience. You might be trying to manage how someone sees you, how a situation plays out, or how the future unfolds. And because you cannot actually control those things, your brain does the next best thing. It thinks about them. Over and over again, because let’s face it, our thinking brains are problem-solving machines.
This is not weakness. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong. It is what your brain is wired to do when it senses uncertainty or threat. Overthinking gives you something to hold onto. It can feel productive. Like you are staying ahead of what you fear. But often what you are really doing is avoiding what you feel.
We reach for control because we believe it will keep us safe. If I can control the outcome, I will not have to feel rejected. If I control how people see me, I will not have to feel shame. If I control the future, I will not have to face fear or uncertainty. The stories we build around these fears become automatic. We do not question them. We just live in them.
But here is the truth. Control doesn’t actually soothe us. It just keeps us stuck in our heads.
The work is not about forcing better thoughts. It is about asking difficult questions.
What am I trying to control right now?
What would I have to feel if I stopped trying to control this?
What emotion would I need to make space for if I stopped managing every possible outcome?
This is where the shift happens.
Anxiety does not live only in your thoughts. It also shows up in your body. Your chest might tighten. Your stomach might flip. Your breath becomes shallow. When you try to think your way out of anxiety, you often disconnect from what is actually happening inside you.
Instead of pushing the experience away, what if you noticed it?
What if you paused and simply observed?
This is what anxiety feels like in my body right now.
This is what my chest does when I feel uncertain.
This is how fear shows up when I do not know how things will turn out.
Allowing those sensations to be there without trying to fix or escape them supports nervous system regulation. This is what grounding is really about. It doesn’t mean you like what you are feeling. It just means you stop fighting it.
Over time, making room for your emotions, rather than managing them, rebuilds your inner sense of safety. Not the kind of safety that comes from certainty and control, but the kind that comes from self-trust. The knowing that even if things are hard, you can be with yourself through it. You can handle difficult, uncomfortable, and complex emotions. From there, you can start connecting with your body and checking what it actually needs in that moment.
You do not need to fix every anxious thought.
You do not need to predict every possible outcome.
You are allowed to stop trying to control what is not yours to hold.
And the most hopeful part?
Often the moment you stop resisting your feelings is the moment you begin to feel better.